Clear liquids and homemade dinner rolls

Right now I’m lying on the couch with my head in a pretty white “ice helmet,” as my dad likes to call it, wearing hospital-issued grippy socks, watching some football and recovering from oral surgery.    Yesterday I finally had my wisdom teeth extracted – all SIX of them (I like to say: two of them were why I pretty much skipped the majority of my senior year of high school, two get credit for my honors Bachelors degree, and the other two got me a magna cum laude JD).  I probably would’ve left them in forever if I hadn’t developed a cyst in my lower right jaw that has been causing me some pain over the last few months.  Plus, I guess they’ve served their purpose.  That is, unless I ever actually go back to school again, which I think I’ve been talked out of. 

Anyway, I’ve been avoiding it because I’m a huge baby.  I HATE needles, blood, doctors offices, etc.  I knew over 15 years ago I had impacted wisdom teeth.  My dentist (now brother-in-law) just told me it was my choice whether to get them out or leave them in, and there are many people who leave them in without ever having an issue.  So of course I was NOT about to have elective surgery!  No Way Hozay.  Hospitals and I do NOT get along.  I’ve been super lucky in my life to have only had one other hospital experience, and that was a tonsillectomy at age 19, after spending my freshman year in college on an unlimited amoxicillin prescription and perpetual sore throat.  To this day I can tell when someone else has a sore throat just by the sound of their voice.  My mom used to know even before I did when I was getting sick.  Getting my tonsils out shouldn’t have been a big deal, but, man, I have horrible memories of the experience and not just the pain, which was deadly.  It was rather simple outpatient surgery but for some reason I was totally traumatized by it. 

This time I was in the hospital for a little over 14 hours because, according to the surgeon, I had some pretty severe surgery.  They wanted to monitor my pain & thought I might need a hit of morphine (or several) once the local anesthetic wore off.   When I woke up from the general anesthesia in the (thankfully empty!) recovery room, the first thing the surgeon told me was, “hey kiddo, we’re going to admit you & keep you overnight to manage your pain.”  It took all of thirteen seconds for me to wake up completely and start blubbering & crying.  The nurse asked what was wrong and I just garbled, discovering my mouth full of gauze, “Iwahwahohhommme.”  Yes.  I wanted. To Go. Home.  The nurse and surgeon both said that if I was doing okay later on, they thought I might be able to.  Hurray, I had hope!

I was conscious enough to know I had to collect myself before getting up to my hospital room so my parents & husband didn’t freak out because I was crying.  I wasn’t yet in pain and didn’t want them to worry about me.  As I was wheeled in the door I saw my dad join up with us behind my bed and I looked at him, flipped the bird, and mumbled “Uck.  Iss.”  and pointed to the room.  For a minute, he thought I was flipping him off, but soon enough I was able to clarify what I meant.  My text to my brother reiterated the point something along the lines of, “yeah, so they think they’re keeping me here overnight but they can SUCK IT!” 

I was told immediately that the local anesthetic was supposed to wear off in 6-8 hours.  I added that to the time I saw on the clock when I first woke up, 11:33, and planned my escape for 5:30. 

My parents went to lunch, then came back & let Rick go to lunch and check in at the office.  I chatted with my mom like everything was fine all afternoon.  When Rick got back I wanted to hear all about the flopped closing he was dealing with at work, and generally I kept up a great spirit.  I didn’t hit the morphine button even once (and at discharge totally tried to negotiate with my RN to unlock the machine & let me take the vial with me.  Afterall, I’m pretty sure I bought the damn thing and could at least try to get my money back on Craigslist or something.  She was sympathetic and I almost thought I had her!) 

Because I wasn’t feeling any real pain yet at 5:30 I decided to wait another couple hours, thinking I was probably still numb.  I mean, if I was supposed to need morphine then the pain was probably going to be epic, right?  Still, by 7:20, nothing.  On a scale of 1-10, a 2 or 3.  I’ve had migraine headaches that I’d categorize as a freakin 12, and I medicate those with OTC meds.  Finally, Rick & I decided we were ready to go.  It took the hospital staff about an hour & a half to administer my discharge papers and give me an initial shot of steroids & pain relievers through my IV.  During that time I’d removed the “ice helmet”, sat up, started to get organized, went to the loo, and unpacked the last round of gauze.  The IV came out smoothly & painlessly, much to my surprise (I told you I’m a baby) and I got dressed.  I had to wait another 15 minutes or so for a wheelchair driver to arrive, and then navigate the 3 floors down & out of the hospital.  By that time the pain had increased to about a 4 or 5, surprisingly.  I waited a bit for Rick to pull up the car and finally we were headed home. 

Pain – 6.  Uh oh, had I made a mistake in leaving the hospital too soon? 

We got home and I knew immediately I needed one of my prescription pain meds, but the dosage instructions said they could cause nausea so I was supposed to take them with food.  I hadn’t had anything other than a few “see, I’m fine, ready to go home” spoonfuls of green jello at the hospital, so Rick heated up some Kitchen Basics chicken broth I had conveniently opened the night before to make the most delicious chicken marsala EVER (is it just natural law that the last meal before a fast is the best meal EVER?  Because I might have to blog that recipe.). 

Anyway, I quick popped half a pain pill, then drank the warm, remarkably tasty broth, slid on the ice helmet and laid back on the couch.  Ahhh…. relief.  Within ten minutes the pain started going back down.  And I was SO glad to be home.

Rick ran to the store for jello and left me with my dad, who had come over to watch the dogs after he & my mom left the hospital around 5:30.  He chattered on excitedly about a bunch of random stuff, the dogs and their new stick, the two dinners he fed them, and the bottle of our great new Dreaming Tree wine he drank and LOVED, and I could tell he was feeling a huge anxiety release that I was finally home from the hospital and feeling okay.  He eventually told me how upset he was during my surgery that it took a lot longer than the surgical staff initially estimated.  But he kept laughing about my “Uck this” initial remark and I promised him I didn’t mean it at him.  I tried to tell him I couldn’t talk much because one of my stitches was irritating me and he told me, “I KNOW!  I tried to tell you to shut up all afternoon!”  LOL!  What a riot. 

My mom was nearly insistent that Rick call her to come over for my midnight dosage of pain meds and said she was going to stay up late putting up her Christmas decorations anyway, so we might as well call!  My parents can be crazy sometimes, but they’re the best under pressure.   

So despite the surgeon’s prediction that I’d need to stay overnight, I was lucky enough to sleep soundly in my own bed, next to my own personal nurse who fed me & kept me comfortable all night.  Rick doted on me like you wouldn’t believe.  He seemed to enjoy himself immensely – and so the “in sickness” vows have been met, and after only 3 months!  ❤  Swoon ❤ 

This morning I woke up fairly early to take my next dose of pain meds, slipping silently out of bed so as not to disturb Rick (I felt quite fine, actually).  Then I lied in bed thinking about – of all things – FOOD. 

OF COURSE!!!  I mean, it’s CHRISTMAS!  I have three parties to bake for in the next few weeks and each of them are different.  I was also thinking about different clear liquid things I could have Rick make for me today, and gradually-increasing solids.  More chicken stock, with a scrambled egg mixed in, a’la egg drop soup.  Banana-yogurt smoothies with nutritious Grade B maple syrup.  Mashed potatoes…  I must be feeling well if my appetite is this fierce less than 24 hours after surgery.

So, back to the dessert plans I have to make:  next week is Rick’s family’s big Christmas party.  I’m considering making a Yule log, but I don’t own a jelly roll pan and don’t have anywhere to store one if I were to buy one.  I also thought of gingerbread cupcakes with orange-zested cream cheese frosting like I made last year.  Or red velvet cupcakes with cool whip in lieu of frosting. 

The following weekend is my girlfriends’ dinner party.  That menu has me totally geeked:  beef tenderloin, greenbeans almondine, roasted root vegetables, homemade dinner rolls, and some amazing desserts. 

Oh, yeah, so what I wanted to show you today was this flub:

Failed dinner rolls.  And I was SO excited about this recipe from How Sweet it Is.  I mean, look at it, aren’t those pictures just amazing?!?! 

I cannot for the life of me figure out what I did wrong.  The dough mixed up perfectly, rose like a charm, (and if you try to tell me the cranberry-vanilla-orange martini had anything to do with the fail, try again)

came together in lovely little clover balls

but then plahhh. 

On the second rise, they stuck to the dish towel I had covering them and when I pulled it off they deflated.  I didn’t have time to let them rise again (and didn’t actually consider that as an option until a friend mentioned it later on), so I just put ‘em in the oven and though what the heck, they might turn out… 

Not.

While they actually tasted pretty decent, they were super hard.  We ended up eating a few, but then I crumbled them up to serve as a sort of dressing or biscuits with turkey & gravy on top as leftovers.  That wasn’t half bad. 

But I really want to impress my friends with these as a side dish in a couple weeks.  I WILL TAKE ANYONE’S SUGGESTIONS.  Ready, go:

For the Love of a Vampire: Drunken Black Forest Cupcakes

Here I go again with the wine and cherries.  I made these even before we went to Napa!  

 I had VERY good reason –my friend Kristy’s birthday, and the fact that our “Book Club”* was going to see Breaking Dawn on opening night.

How perfectly dark and sexy and vamp is this combination:  dark chocolate cake, wine-soaked black cherries, vanilla Swiss meringue buttercream.  Rahr.  We will call these cupcakes “I Wish I Was a Cullen” (or, in my personal case, Team Carlisle.) 

I obsessed over this recipe in my head for weeks.  Originally, my super classy aunt asked me to make something for her November book club meeting and I instantly knew I had to make something infused with red wine.  She’s a true wine connoisseur.  (And yes, I did have to spell check that.)  Since I made a couple different things earlier this fall using wine-soaked dried Traverse City cherries the idea has gelled considerably. 

For my aunt’s classy book club I wanted to make something sophisticated, rich and decadent…  and just maybe a little tipsy.  Drunken black forest cake anyone?  Classic.  When Pam’s book club cancelled I couldn’t let go of the idea. 

My grandmother always had black forest cake over the holidays, but it was never my favorite dessert because the cake always seemed dry and I highly detest canned cherry pie filling.  It always seemd too red, too sweet, too sticky, too… artificial, in every way. 

So to up the game for this creation, I used Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder (my favorite!), frozen whole black cherries and Chateau Grand Traverse Sweet Red wine.  The rich tart cherry filling with the deep dark dense chocolate cake and creamy vanilla frosting was intense… Perfectly Cullen-worthy. 

I have to share the recipe:

Chocolate Cake by Ree Drummond, the Pioneer Woman (using Hershey’s Special Dark cocoa powder and 1/4 cup of coffee in place of 1/4 cup of the water called for in the recipe)

Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream by Smitten Kitchen

My own Red Wine Cherry Filling:  (yields enough filling for 12-16 cupcakes)

2 cups of frozen black (tart) cherries

1 cup good red wine (use a wine you love to drink because the flavor intensifies as it cooks.  I used Chateau Grand Traverse Sweet Red)

1/4 cup sugar (if using a dry wine, use 1/3 cup of sugar)

1 T cornstarch

1T red wine

Add cherries, 1 cup of wine & sugar to a small saucepan and simmer, stirring occasionally, for 20-30 minutes until cherries burst and the wine reduces by about half.

In a small cup or dish, stir 1 tablespoon of wine into the cornstarch to dissolve it, and gradually stir the mixture into the bubbling cherry sauce.  Let it boil for a minute until thickened.  Remove from the heat and chill slightly before filling cupcakes with it. 

To fill the cupcakes, run a knife around the top of each cupcake to cut a cone-shaped piece out. 

Fill the hole with a spoonful of cherry filling and swirl frosting on top. 

For the “fang marks” I poked little holes with a chopstick and piped in more red wine sauce with a candy bottle.  I LOVED these.  Very adult. 

 

*As you may guess, the book club is a total front.  For some reason, at this age it seems like we need an intellectual-sounding suburbian coverup for our girls-only nights out.  I would never have read the Twilight series if it weren’t for the peer pressure of my friends who called me a literary snob when I turned my nose up at the idea (I have awesome friends).  At 30-something, unlike when I was a teenager, my friends can look at me with scrunched up noses, hands on hips, cocky looks on their faces, and tell me “c’mon, everybody’s doing it,” and I cave & do it (see, great friends).  It didn’t take me long to get hooked on the Twilight books, (solely because I had to find out if Bella ever actually BECAME a vampire) and for us to form a “book club” so we could tell our men we had a legit reason to go to the movies to watch a tween vampire movie – or five!  IWIWAC Book Club Rocks. 

Next week: Wine Reviews =D

First stop, El Dorado:  Holly’s Hill

Second stop, El Dorado:  Sierra Vista (hence, the amazing view of the Sierras).

Third stop in El Dorado:  Mount Aukum

Final stop, Karmere, Amador County – solely for the sparkling almond wine.  And sunset.

Apple Moon Pies (Pie Cookies, Hand Pies, Lunchbox Pies, whatever!)

I recently updated this post and brought it back for a second round because the fabulous inspiring blogger Cheryl over at TidyMom is just too generous and resourceful and scored some MAJOR schwag.  Go check out the giveaway for the best pie recipe!  I’m not sure if this is the *best* recipe, but it is fantastic, delicious, fun and easy.

Come join Love the Pie with TidyMom  sponsored by Cherokee USA, Le Creuset, Wilton, Bags by Bloom and  Harvard Common Press!  I honestly hope to win the cute apron from Bloom =D

Conveniently enough (since I chose one of the flavors myself) this week’s cupcake orders involve apple pie filling.  So I woke up this morning excited to make it again.   

Not coincidentally, I just so happened to have a refrigerated pie crust that was a month or so past its expiration date and needed to be used.  (PS ~ in case you ever wondered, those dates are just suggestions and, I think, marketing devices.  Don’t throw away refrigerated pie crust if the date on the box leads you to believe [erroneously] it has expired.  It’s fine.  Trust me.)

I didn’t actually want to make a pie.   If pies were cupcakes, they’d be hand pies, like these:

Perfect for stuffing into lunchboxes, they start out with simple little rounds of pie dough.  The perfect size is a Folgers coffee can lid, fyi.  I’d say they’re about 4.5 inches or so. 

(Meanwhile in the living room Rick is hollering expletives at the tv because MSU just committed another personal foul and Denard is on the ground.  “They are a dirty #&%$#@& team!”  My mom was right.  Those ugly uniforms make them look like the thugs they are…)

At any rate, this really is the perfect blustery fall day for an impulse pie.  Or several mini ones, as the case may be. 

It took me a bit of negotiating with these things to get the right amount of filling in each one.  I really wanted to put a lot more apples in them than they wanted to hold. 

I’d say they only got about a tablespoon each (I spooned off probably 1/3 of the filling from the one above after taking the pic).  So obviously, the crust-to-filling ratio is pretty steep.  The good thing about that is they’re not very sweet at all.  Perfect for a mid-day (or half-time) snack. 

Today, with the state our team is in, they’d go perfectly with a shot of rum to kill the pain. 

Fold over the dough & seal the edges with a swipe of eggwash (1 egg whisked together with 1 T water).  Press a fork around the edges for a pretty detail and drip-proof seal.  Poke two tiny slices in the top so the steam can escape.  Then brush the tops lightly with eggwash so they bake up golden brown & shiny. 

I rolled the leftover pie crust out for a mini lattice-topped pie, decorated with a heart inspired by a friend from Up North.  =) 

Here’s the Apple Pie Filling recipe (this also goes GREAT warmed up on top of vanilla ice cream & cider donuts):

3 large apples peeled, cored & chopped into 1/2” cubes – I used 2 golden delicious and 1 honey crisp.

3 T butter

1/4 cup sugar

1/4 cup apple cider

1/4 – 1/2 tsp cinnamon

1 Tablespoon milk

1 Tablespoon ap flour

dasha nutmeg

dasha salt

Cook all of the ingredients listed above in a medium saucepan over medium heat, stirring occasionally until the apples soften to your desired tooth – I cooked these for about 6-8 minutes.

Mix milk & flour in a cup until smooth and slowly pour it into the boiling cider while stirring to prevent lumps.  This will thicken the mixture considerably.  Cool to set up a bit before filling pie circles. 

(I have no idea why this dessert caused me to channel Owen Wilson as Lightning McQueen in Cars, but it did.  Ka-CHOW!)

Pumpkin Cream Pie (er, cake)

I have an issue with Boston Cream Pie. 

Don’t get me wrong – I LOVE Boston Cream Pie.

But it is NOT pie.

It is, unequivocally, cake.  Cake on the bottom, creamy vanilla custard in the middle, cake on the top, and chocolate ganache all over.  Right?  Where’s the question?  Why is this called PIE?  THIS is pie:

So maybe I’m a stickler for word choice.  This gets me in trouble with Rick a lot because I like to tell him to stop being so nit-picky about semantics and he’s all like “WHATEVER word freak!”  And I’m like, “but it’s different.”  And he’s like, “No, it’s the same!”  But it’s different.  Like Boston Cream Pie – it’s not pie, it’s cake.  Same difference?

Several times I’ve almost been compelled to petition my state rep to legislate the use of certain words.  See, “insurance” and “bank” can only be used by certain regulated entities.  Well, I’m not suggesting that the words “pie” and “cake” be legislated but the word “resort” should be.  Have you ever driven up the Lake Huron coast?  Srsly, there are “beach resorts” up and down the lake, and I. am. sorry. but none of them are even close to what I would call a “resort.”  No pool, no spa, no tiki bar, no concierge…  Three little cabins and a firepit do not a resort make. 

THIS is a resort:

Ahh… San Pedro, Belize…  resorts on resorts for miles…  Jeez, it’s not even December and I’m already delving back into my Caribbean photos from last spring?  Oh boy. 

Anyway, this weekend I made a Thanksgiving-inspired cake that’s a lot like Boston Cream Pie – cake, creamy filling, chocolate ganache. 

But because it uses pumpkin, I think it tends a tad bit more toward the pie end of the scale than straight-up Boston Cream Pie.  No?  Okay, whatever, it’s a cake.  A gorgeous 4-layer chocolate chip pumpkin cake filled with light & creamy autumn-spice Swiss meringue buttercream, drenched in semi-sweet chocolate ganache. 

Dee.  Lish. 

I made a 6″ cake and 6 cupcakes. 

Chocolate-chip Pumpkin Cake slightly adapted from this one from Allrecipes. 

1 boxed cake mix (white or yellow)

1 cup canned pumpkin puree

3 eggs

1/3 cup vegetable oil

1/2 cup water

1 tsp cinnamon

1/8 tsp each: cloves, nutmeg, powdered ginger

1 heaping cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

Here’s my secret to creating the perfectly-textured cake from a boxed mix:  use room-temp eggs (sit in the shells for 10-15 minutes in warm water) and blend all the liquid ingredients for a minute or so with a hand mixer.  Then blend the wet ingredients (in this case, pumpkin included) into the dry mix (with the spices whisked in) for a minute & a half.  Fold in the chocolate chips at the end. 

Divide batter evenly between 2 – 8″ round pans (or 2-6″ pans and 6-7 cupcakes).  Bake at 350 for 25-30 minutes or more until a toothpick comes out with a bit of melted chocolate & a few crumbs sticking to it, but no wet cake batter.  I check it frequently in the last 10 minutes so as not to overbake. 

Cool cakes in the pans on a wire rack for 10 minutes.  Run a thin, sharp knife (non-serrated) around the edge of the cake in the pan and then overturn to remove.  Cool completely on a wire rack.  Then slice the rounded top of one of the layers (eat the scraps as a means of quality control) and then carefully & evenly slice each layer in half to create 4 layers.  Stack with a thick layer of Autumn-spice Swiss Meringue Buttercream (already shared this one here) betwen the layers.  Save the one rounded top half  for the very top.  Chill for a few minutes before topping the whole stack with a thick coating of chocolate ganache & a few messy frosting stars (I don’t have the heart to throw good frosting down the drain). 

Here’s my fail-safe version of ganache:

Simple Microwave Chocolate Ganache

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

1/4 cup milk (I always use skim because it’s the only milk we ever have)

1 tsp vegetable oil (to make up for the lack of fat in the milk)

dasha’ salt

Put all the ingredients into a heavy glass bowl or pyrex measuring cup.  Melt on high for 20 seconds, whisk lightly, and nuke for another 20 seconds if necessary – which it probably IS NOT.  The milk will heat up to a perfectly warm enough temp to slowly melt the chocolate with only20-30 seconds in the microwave.  Just be a little patient with it.  Then cool for a few minutes in the fridge to set up to a little thicker consistency.  Cool the stacked cake at the same time, and when you pour on the ganache it will set nicely and not run all over the counter. 

 This got rave reviews at the office, regardless of whether it’s cake or pie.  But maybe I’ll take it upon myself to create a scale or spectrum of desserts ranging from the classic pumpkin pie on one end and wedding cake on the other.  Input?  This might take a while…

Black Star Farms Chocolate Truffle Torte Recipe

I wish I had pictures.  For now, you’ll have to trust me, I can’t wait to share this: 

Toast the Season Chocolate Truffle Torte Recipe by Chef Stephanie Sheffer at Black Star Farms.  To DIE for!!!  (Or at least worthy of stalking the Chef 😉

Bella Sirloin Lasagna: A celebration dinner!

I’ve been craving lasagna for a while and this weekend marked the perfect occasion:  Rick & I celebrated our 73-day anniversary!  We have officially been married longer than Kim Kardashian & Kris Humphries. 

Okay, that wasn’t very nice.

Sorry Kim, of all people, I know things happen.  People make mistakes.  Not judging.  Promise. 

Anyway, I didn’t discover my passion for cooking & baking until a few years ago.  People have actually asked me when and how I got started and I don’t have a concise answer.  I’ve always loved to watch cooking shows on tv and I’ve never been afraid to go to town on whatever random stuff I might find in the pantry or fridge to create a meal for myself. I’ve never been one to eat for the sake of sustenance.  I eat for pleasure.  If I’m starving and the only thing available is an ordinary turkey sandwich, I’ll continue to starve. 

Even if I don’t recall that one defining culinary moment, I do remember exactly when this lasagna first came into my life and that it was probably the catalyst for a serious shift in my desire to cook & entertain. 

This is Linda’s Lasagna.  Her recipe (which is a full letter-size page of prose, single-spaced, ten-point font) discloses up front that it is merely a “guideline,” and goes on to make dozens of suggestions for additions & modifications to the original ingredient list.  This might have been the first time I received written permission to cook like I do.  Free-form.  Organically.  A tad loosey-goosey on occasion.  Only once or twice have I really botched a dish (don’t ever put crab and green peppers together, EVER, trust me). 

But I still use this “recipe” for lasagna, and I stick more closely to it than many of the more structured recipes I use.  Doesn’t that seem backwards? 

I’ve only made this three or four times because it’s a little bit involved, but every time it has turned out wonderful and different than any lasagna I’ve had in restaurants or out of the freezer.  It’s quite light on the sauce.  The noodles are thicker and never mushy.  The filling is rich, not too salty, not too sweet, not too herbaceous…  It’s just perfect. 

This time I used ground sirloin and baby portabella mushrooms.  I also added a tiny shot of wine to the sauce.  The “recipe” below is truly a guideline, but it was sooooo amazing I want to write it down exactly how I did it so I can try it again like this someday.  I say, next time you have a couple hours to spare and something fabulous to celebrate, make this.  You will not be disappointed. 

Thank you, Linda, for your inspiration.  Also, thank you for being so much more fun and down to earth than Martha Stewart and equally as talented in the kitchen!!!  Oh, and for the recipe and the lovely baking dish, too 😉 

Sirloin & Portabella Lasagna

Lasagna noodles (half a box)

1 pound ground sirloin

1 pound sliced baby bellas

15 oz can Contadina Italian herb tomato sauce

dry red wine

——–

1 cup low fat ricotta cheese

4 oz softened cream cheese (don’t use low fat)

1/2 cup grated or shredded parmesan cheese

1 egg

1/2 tsp garlic powder

——–

2-1/2  –  3 cups shredded Italian cheese

fresh basil

dried oregano

crushed red pepper flakes

course black pepper

salt

——–

Boil a huge pot of water.  When boiling, add salt (at least a tablespoon, I use sea salt) & a tablespoon of olive oil to prevent the noodles from sticking together. Add 10-12 Lasagna noodles (you’ll likely only need 9, but I make extra in case some tear) and cook al dente according to package directions (I used the Meijer brand – not the “oven-ready” kind – and cooked them for 9 minutes).  Stir a few times during cooking but be gentle.

As the water boils, sauté a pound of sliced baby bellas in a heavy-bottomed NON-non-stick skillet (in other words, a stick skillet – whatever, you know what I mean) in 1 T butter & 1 T olive oil (I used light olive oil because I don’t like the taste of mushrooms cooked in extra virgin) until brown.  Season mushrooms with garlic powder, salt & black pepper. 

Remove mushrooms from the pan & set aside.  In the same pan, add another tablespoon of light olive oil & brown 1 pound ground sirloin.  Season with salt, black pepper and a little crushed red pepper flake.

To the beef, add 1 can (15 oz) Contadina tomato sauce with Italian herbs and about an ounce of dry red wine (I used Gabbiano Chianti Classico, my favorite spicy red wine to serve with savory pasta dishes).  Let the sauce come to a simmer, then turn off the heat.

When the lasagna noodles are done, drain in the pot and cool by filling & dumping cool water in the pan a few times. 

You can do all this stuff at once, it’s fun – like a circus on your stove!

Preheat oven to 350. 

Mix together cream cheese, ricotta cheese, parmesan cheese, one egg, garlic powder, salt & pepper. 

In a lightly-greased baking dish, place one layer of noodles.  It helps if they’re mostly dry.  Layer on top of the noodles about half the cream cheese mixture.  Add about a THIRD of the meat sauce (there will be leftover meat sauce – this is not a saucy dish) and then a third of the shredded cheese.

Add another layer of noodles, cream cheese, sauce & shredded cheese.  Then another layer of noodles and more shredded cheese on top.  Sprinkle lightly with fresh basil, red pepper flakes & dried oregano.

Bake uncovered for 40-45 minutes or until golden brown around the edges. 

After taking it out of the oven LET IT REST for at least 15 minutes, and even longer if you can stand it.  The more it firms up the prettier it is to serve.  Conveniently enough, our garlic bread needed to bake for 10-12 minutes at 450, so that created perfect timing.

The salad I served with this was crazy good, too.  Normally I’m not a fan of salad in general, but this was so great I’m actually going to post about it later this week. 

This meal was out of this world!  Don’t be intimidated by a multi-step dish like this.  There’s nothing demanding about it if you give yourself an hour to prepare it and an hour to bake it.  It is such a reward to serve your family something this beautiful and you won’t find a better lasagna in any restaurant. 

NOW, Linda’s suggested additions & modifications: 

Use half beef and half Italian sausage – Sweet and Hot, one link of each – just slice out of the casing & brown with the beef. 

Substitute cottage cheese for ricotta – I thought I didn’t like ricotta but I was totally wrong – and add another egg to the mixture if you like it a little firmer.

Forego the mushrooms & add a layer of spinach instead.

Use different kinds of shredded cheese – she suggests mozzarella, provolone, munster and others.

Add a few bits of green or red bell pepper.

Feel free to use more sauce.  (But I love it this way.)

If you don’t like oregano, use more basil.  Fresh basil is best, but dried can suffice. 

Double the recipe and make an extra pan to freeze for later (best suggestion YET!)

French Toast Goes Cop: Bread Pudding Five-O.

I think this might have been a huge mistake. 

You have to understand how this could happen, though.  You’ve been victim to the same irresistible impulse I caved in to yesterday at the grocery store, haven’t you? 

These:

Suckers.

They’re a fall thing, and someone always gets them once or twice for our football tailgates.

This year so far, we’ve gone without.  (I know, right???)

But we were out of town for the season opener and the first game we went to was a night game, so breakfast wasn’t in the plans.

Then Steve & Candace were in charge of donuts for the next game or two and they bought full size ones.  While those were good donuts, they’re not the same.

Then we skipped Purdue last week.

So my purchase yesterday was just a matter of fate.  It was a done deal before I even got to the store.  I was magnetically drawn to them in their cute little end-aisle display against my will.

Aren’t they stupid? 

I mean, I passed by an entire fresh bakery section full of lovely frosted goodies, pumpkin cake rolls, lemon poppyseed muffins, Italian crème cakes, giant chewy chocolate chip cookies, and big cinnamon cider donuts.  The bakery section didn’t even phase me.  But I was powerless against these dumb little powdered donuts. 

Makes no sense. 

Oh well.  It is what it is.

And today I woke up with this brilliant idea:

Coffee & donuts bread budding. 

French toast goes Cop. 

Bread Pudding Five-O.  I’m sorry but I can’t stop laughing at the stereotype.  It’s okay though because I love Cops!  Really, I’m real-life friends with a few good cops and they are some pretty cool women.  Tough, gorgeous, funny, talented, passionate, educated beyond belief – and even though one of them isn’t on the road anymore, I’d bet my socks she and the others are susceptible to the power of coffee & donuts.  Especially when turned into this mess.

I can’t take all the blame here.  Food bloggers, as a class, are just kind of bad people.  They do $#!* like this and then get me thinking about their crazy concoctions late at night.  And I hate to admit it but this was really delicious.  Go figure.    Don’t make it.  You’ll totally regret it. 

Coffee & Donuts Bread Pudding

Makes 4 servings. 

 16 mini donuts, broken in half & dried out a little (10 minutes in a warm oven then let sit to cool or set out overnight on the counter – good luck with that).  Arrange in a small ungreased baking dish.

3 eggs – beaten

1/2 cup milk

1/8 cup sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp coffee extract

dasha’salt

Whisk the eggs, salt & other liquids until combined and pour over the donuts, making sure all pieces are covered.  Sprinkle cinnamon on top.

Bake at 350 for 25 minutes.  Let cool for 5-10 minutes, cut into quarters & serve with a dollop of whipped cream or Cool Whip and a drizzle of maple syrup. 

And coffee on the side, of course. 

This is a deceivingly small baking dish, like maybe 6” x 8”.  I wouldn’t use anything larger, but if you do, I’d scale up the quantities.

Uh oh, here’ goes… Pumpkin Chai Cupcakes, Eventually

(Warning: if you just want the cupcake recipe and not a long rant, scroll all the way down past the raging diatribe to the next picture.  Enjoy!) 

I’m feeling impulsive.  Big time.  Like, unreasonably-going-into-debt impulsive. 

This angsty feeling I’ve had the last month or so that I’ve tried to ignore by baking every single freaking day is going to get me in trouble.

I may have to do one of two things:

A)   Paint the entire inside of my house white, or ecru, or very very light gray.  (In order to provide a more photogenic background for my blog photos, of course.  I am deeply committed to this baking-writing hobby if you haven’t noticed.) 

or

B)   Go back to school. 

Which of the above-mentioned investments sounds less unreasonable to you?  Really, this is not a rhetorical question, I could use a little help here.  And please acknowledge that double negative so I know you’re paying attention.  (Aw quitchyerbitchin.  Did you not realize this blog would eventually try to challenge your linguistics?  Sheesh.  I will assume you don’t really want to discuss the difference between the phrases “more reasonable” and “less unreasonable,” and instead, we will move along.)

See, while some people actually buy my carefully-crafted internet persona, the truth is that I suffer cyclical bouts of major insecurity and self-doubt in both my Day Job and, surprisingly, this new blogging thing.  I just know that I could be much better at both of them.  Unfortunately it seems much easier and far less expensive to improve the skills I use in blogging (baking, writing, photography, food styling) than it is to increase my legal knowledge.  Another reason I’ve been focusing my energy on blogging rather than my real career issues is that my personality seems to work a lot better in the blog world than it does in the courtroom or the boardroom.  In baking & blogging, I can hide behind my laptop and not confront any real human beings ever, if I don’t want to.  I can even delete comments if I don’t like them.  This kind of one-sided dialogue works very well for me.  =D

I know I shouldn’t be so sensitive to criticism.  I also shouldn’t compare myself to other people but it’s impossible not to.  I practice law with my husband.  I’m pretty sure he’s the greatest lawyer I have ever met and will ever meet in my entire life.  I’m not biased, either.  He really is.  He’s brilliant, and totally cool, and a major perfectionist.  He is patient, persistent, flexible, approachable, sympathetic, understanding, creative…  Seriously, I’m not exaggerating.  He has every good quality an effective advocate, teacher and negotiator should have.  He’s also pretty darn good looking, too, which adds insult to injury.  (Luckily for me, though, he isn’t perfect.  The man is uber top-heavy and has no sense of balance so he cannot go kayaking or do yoga without falling and making himself look like a total dweeb.  Thank God he has a flaw.  I can’t tell you how much I wish I had a picture of him to insert here right now, coming up out of the water next to his kayak looking incredibly surprised and very drenched – the image in my head is priceless.)  

Okay, to my credit I do have one useful talent:  I’m generally one of the best legal analysts & writers in town.  

That’s the extent of my skills, though.  I’m impatient, skeptical, harsh, cold-hearted, inflexible and uptight.  I do not have a mind for sales or negotiating.  And my favorite word in the English language is “OBJECTION!”  Followed closely by, “facts not in evidence … attorney testimony  … SPECULATING!”  In that tone of voice, too.  With my eyes wide open in shock accompanied by jazz hands.  I have been known to mutter under my breath the occasional “pshh, whatever,” or (hissing) “liar” in court, too.  I just can’t keep my mouth shut.  

This job is for the birds.  

BUT.  I really love it.  Parts of it, anyway. And even when I really hate it, I love to hate it.  

The thing I don’t love is feeling ineffective.  I also don’t love not knowing something I want to know or should know in order to help a client move their business forward.  I also hate it when I lose the battle against my will to keep my mouth shut.  

I want to take a class on how to master the proper passive-aggressive posture and tone of voice to use when replying thusly: “Hm [thoughtful-sounding pause] interesting…” because I think that’s the single most effective and non-committal response a lawyer can make to any statement or question, no matter how crazy.  It at once acknowledges what the other person said while reserving the right to respond in substance at a later time.  Brilliant.  

I need to figure out how to do that.  

There are times I pride myself on being decisive and quick-witted.  There are times I enjoy my ability to articulate my thoughts and feelings clearly, concisely and promptly. 

There are other times I want to punch myself in the face for being a Mouth and saying something I shouldn’t have or using a totally honest inappropriate tone of voice.  

Yes, I do realize there’s not a lot about these issues I could change by going back to school.  However, another degree or some audited classes could help diminish the few insecurities I can more readily control, mainly a lack of deep understanding of tax law, bankruptcy and corporate securities.  

This is so strange, looking back.  Five and a half years ago I said there was no reason I would ever need to go back to school.  I have achieved one of the highest levels of American education available.  What the heck makes me think I need another degree???  Normal people don’t even know what an LLM is (Master of Laws, fyi).  And I should probably be able to learn more about those Lost Topics by attending seminars or webcasts, or by reading on my own.  But there’s no pressure or incentive in that.  If there’s no test, no one who cares if I attend or take notes, no fear of being humiliated in class if I don’t do the assigned reading, then I’m not likely to do it.  I learned eight million random legal things for the bar exam through self-study.  I have since forgotten nine million random legal things.  I’m a pro at crashing & test-taking.  I am not so good at learning things permanently unless there’s real pressure to do so.  Honest.  I just rely on my photographic short-term memory.  How embarrassing is that?  

I disgust myself for even admitting it.  

Anyway, what should I do?  Really.  Does anyone have first-hand experience with the Dale Carnegie program and if so, is it really possible to train yourself to overcome personality weaknesses, communicate more effectively, learn how to be a salesperson or negotiator?  

It’s either personal business training or more academic education.  Self-discipline isn’t going to cut it.  

Or should I just go to Home Depot for paint? 

Oh, you came here to see pretty pictures of baked goods, didn’t you?  How about the most perfect pumpkin chai cupcakes ever?  Mmm hm, most definitely! 

I admit, these are from last year.  And – and – I made them with a boxed mix.  Why that makes me feel guilty is beyond me.  Boxed white cake mix is the BEST.  I have not yet found a comparable scratch recipe that’s so light & fluffy and bakes up dependably every time.  My use of the Box is not for lack of trying to bake from scratch or anything, it’s truly a well-informed choice.  Guilt bedamned.  So, this is it: 

Pumpkin Chai Cupcakes

Pour one dry white or yellow cake mix into a bowl.  Add 2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp nutmeg and 1/8 tsp ginger, whisk to combine. 

In a large measuring cup or medium-sized bowl, melt 1 stick of butter (or use 1/4 cup vegetable oil, depending on whether your boxed mix calls for butter or oil, I prefer a butter-recipe white mix, though), add 1 cup cooled strong tea (this is one thing that makes these subtly chai flavored), 1cup canned pumpkin and 3 egg whites.  Blend with a hand mixer for one minute.  (For the record, I reserve the right to adjust this recipe since I wrote it down a LONG time after the first time I made these, and I’m not entirely sure the measurements are perfect – this sounds like a tad too much moisture to me.)  Anyway…

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and blend just shy of 2 minutes. 

Portion out into 24 cupcakes using a an ice cream scoop and bake at 350 degrees for 20 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean. Watch them carefully through the door with the light on the last 3 minutes. 

Cool in the pan for 5 minutes, then on a wire rack until the cupcakes are room temp.  

Filling – simple:  blend 1/2 cup canned pumpkin into 1 cup cool whip with a couple dashes of the same spices as in the cake mix.  Adjust to taste if it’s not pumpkin-y enough for you.  There is zero science to making cream fillings out of cool whip, it’s all taste & texture, just don’t blend it too aggressively or it will turn to soup. 

Once the cupcakes are cooled, carve a small cone out of the top and pipe the filling in with a piping bag or a Ziploc with the corner cut off.  Eat the cake scraps (quality control, my friends, it is your responsibility).    

Frosting –my favorite and here’s the recipe:  Smitten Kitchen’s Vanilla Swiss Meringue Buttercream.  For these cupcakes, I added cinnamon & nutmeg, probably a teaspoon of cinnamon & 1/4 tsp nutmeg.  Pipe frosting on top with a 1M star tip and then sprinkle nutmeg on top for that real Chai aroma. 

Enjoy!  Next time, you can help me decide what shade of white to paint my kitchen =D  Then we can talk about how great of a painter I am.  NOT!

Home Body

Home is seriously underrated. 

Last Saturday, although we had tickets, we did not go to the Michigan-Purdue game.  I know, I know.  We broke the 11^th commandment of Michigan season-ticket-holders:  Thou Shalt Not Miss A Big Ten Game.  Forgive me Father, for I have sinned.  It has been blhaabluwwhs  yhllwwallts since my last confession. 

But hey, we planned to go.  I even got up, showered and thought we were going to go.  But I really wanted to just stay home.  I wanted to stay home so badly I cried in the shower.  Luckily Rick was silently listening in and insisted that we did not have to go and could just go back to bed. 

Last week was just really long and exhausting and neither one of us got a single good night’s sleep.  I wasn’t feeling a hundred percent, or even 85%.  I was kinda crabby, a little sniffly, a lot tired, and not at all in the mood to sit in gameday traffic or elbow 101,014 Wolverines & Boilermakers inside the stadium to get to my cramped bleacher seat.  I also did not feel like getting rained on during a relatively boring game and knew it was just one of those days.  Not quite Northwestern 2008 which was so bad it earned me my Michigan Football Fan Merit Badge, but probably damp and slow.  

So instead I watched the game in comfy clothes on the couch with the dogs, flipping back & forth between Michigan v. Purdue & State v. Nebraska.  Then I baked a pretty apple bundt cake for the church harvest bazaar. 

(The recipe is not my favorite, though, so I won’t be talking much about that cake.) 

It was SO nice to just stay home.  I wish we had more Saturdays like that.  Lazy, quiet, warm, cozy…  Aren’t I a boring old lady?!?!

Yes, I am a self-proclaimed home body. 

I’ll never forget one of the nights I was drawn to that quiet, warm, cozy image of Home in college. 

Fall semester Junior year, I had a final project due at 8:00 pm on a Friday night in my Construction Drawing class (I was an architecture major in undergrad).  It sounds kind of strange now, looking back, but after I turned in my drawing I had a little bit of a meltdown.  I was just SO. TIRED.  I think I went three or four days in a row on about 2-3 hours of sleep.  All-nighters were no joke in architecture school.  In some ways they were absolutely the most thrilling experience of my life.  Social, inspiring, challenging, creative.  Lonely, exhausting, difficult.  My memories of those dark late nights in studio are all very fond, though. 

That one night after turning in my drawing, I left the building and sat in my car for about two minutes before bursting into tears.  I didn’t even stop at my apartment to get clothes or tell my roommates where I was going (they wouldn’t have noticed my absence anyway, since I’d just spent every waking minute – and most of their sleeping minutes – in studio).  I just drove home, to my parents’ house, almost two hours away.  I needed to sleep in my own cozy little twin bed.  For about thirty-nine hours straight.  And when I woke up I wanted someone to make me bacon & eggs for breakfast.  I wanted to watch the NASCAR race on tv with my dad.  I just wanted to be Home. 

When I got there I felt kind of strange driving in the driveway, almost like I was intruding.  I hadn’t even called (this was before I had a cell phone) so my parents didn’t know I was coming.  I should’ve been at school – two hours away.  They were going to freak.  I immediately regretted the snap decision, feeling terribly guilty, afraid they were going to worry.  Nothing was wrong with me, I was just tired!  I took my time parking in the driveway and dragged my feet up the front porch steps.  And I knocked on the door.  To my own parents’ house.  I was SO.  Tired.

That sounds so sad!  But my mom answered the door with the kindest, most concerned, warm, loving look on her face.  I meekly asked if I could come home, and then I promptly fell fast asleep.  At least I think that’s what happened because I don’t remember the rest of the weekend. 

My parents knew how hard I worked in school and so I don’t really think they were that surprised to see me.  I don’t think I ever felt as much at home in Ann Arbor as some of my roommates or other classmates did.  I didn’t go out much (no time or money) and I didn’t invest any energy into forging lifelong relationships there.  My heart stayed firmly put in Bay City the whole 4 years I was gone. 

Oh I was a big talker in high school, though.  I thought I’d leave & never come back.  I had lofty goals of big cities, romantic faraway places, skyscraper office buildings and loft apartments. 

Then Dale Earnhardt was killed in the Daytona 500 when I was a Senior in college.  My brother and my dad, Earnhardt’s biggest fans, were at that race.  I found myself mourning his death like he was a family member, and I was all alone in Ann Arbor.  No one there seemed to pay attention to NASCAR.  Back home, everyone did.  Everyone should’ve known why I penned a black #3 on my left hand in Sharpie, but no one even noticed.  All of a sudden I felt really out of place in Ann Arbor.  I loved my car, a Pontiac Grand Am, and no one in Ann Arbor drove domestics, let alone gave two thoughts about what kind of wheels got them from Point A to Point B. 

I’ve always had a thing for cars. 

There was a guy in our sailing fleet who I thought was insanely gorgeous, but he drove a white Pontiac Sunfire.  I would not be caught DEAD dating a guy who drove a Sunfire!  When he sold it & got a hot Jeep Wrangler things changed significantly 😉  I kind of have a thing about cars, and it runs in my family.  My mom drove a Mustang when I was little.  My brother’s first car was an ’82-1/2 Camaro that I was secretly in love with (yes, Chevy changed the body style mid-year in 1982 – I would know, my brother is a Camaro expert).  My own first car was the sweetest ride in my high school parking lot.  I suffered a horrible complex when it went into the shop for 8 weeks after I hit a deer (8-point buck) and I was forced to drive one of my parents’ extra Buicks.   

About a month ago on my way into work, I passed by my dad driving the other way in his big old blue Chevy.  I waved.  Then I smiled for a good long time – Dad in his Chevy boat: A legend.  A couple weeks after that on the way to the office I passed my mom in her new black Malibu.  While that car is gorgeous, I HATE it because it makes my mom totally incognito, blending in with 28 other identical cars in town.  Ggrrr!  I rubberneck every time one of them passes me.  Anyway, that day mom & I stopped in the middle of the intersection to say hi & good morning.  I savored those warm fuzzies for at least the next three or four miles.  I often see my uncle Ted driving around downtown in his old GMC work truck.  Once in a while on my way home from work I’ll pass by my brother-in-law swinging a golf club at the driving range.  I love to honk my horn & wave mid-swing in the hope he messes up 😉  He’s wound a little tight & needs a check every now & then. 

Those moments mean a lot to me. 

I love being Home.  Where I know what kind of car everybody drives and never have to knock on my parents’ door, even when they’re not expecting me.